My quadruped Ivory, a yellow Labrador Retriever, needs to have a tooth pulled next month.

Now I never thought this would be an issue.

I knew that when I got her, 10 years ago, she would need to have a lot of things in life but dental surgery?

Never crossed my mind.

Among the things I was ready for were shots. Every year she gets them. And boy, they are costly.

Usually over $100.

And then there is the new doggie collar - purple for her, although I don't know why or rather can't remember why I chose that colour. At any rate, the collar gets replaced every few years because the purple starts to fade.

Oh, and then there are doggie beds. Ivory has gone through so many in the last decade - thanks to incidents that don't need mentioning - that in retrospect I probably should have purchased shares in one of the doggie bed companies.

One area I have found luck in is her leash. In fact, the leash we use is the same one I used for my black Lab, Ebony, when I was growing up. Good steel, I guess.

But I digress.

Back to dental surgery.

It seems that my precious, wannabe teacup poodle, needs to have a tooth pulled. Apparently this is not that uncommon in older dogs.

Now the tooth is an upper molar - is that what you call a doggie chomper? - that has changed colour but is so far not infected.

I'd noticed the tooth a few months ago and the vet ordered an extraction during Ivory's annual one-million-tail-wags checkup on the weekend.

"You don't want it to start bothering her," said the vet, peering at the offending tooth.

And so, after making the necessary arrangements, I've now marked: "Ivory, dental surgery" on our calendar at home.

Apparently this will only cost a couple hundred dollars - maybe three at the most.

Still, I'm biting my nails a bit.

I mean, what if other teeth on her start to go?

Does the rate go down the more teeth you pull?

Sort of like frequent extraction points?

Is there such a thing as doggie dentures?

And if so - the fittings must be comical - how much do they cost?

And if there are doggie dentures, does that mean there is doggie Polident?

I probably should have asked the vet these questions but they kind of slipped my mind.

You see, I was still gobsmacked about the whole surgery idea.

If Mrs. Gennings was with us, she would have asked all of my questions and some of her own. She thinks of everything.

And speaking of questions, if doggie dentures do become an issue, can I put them through my work plan?

I wonder what human resources will think when I ask.

"Gennings over in sector 17-J has a real doozie of a question. About his dog and dentures. Maybe the boy is joking but then he does claim Lawrence Welk is one of his favourite shows so it's hard to tell."

As for Ivory, she doesn't seem to care one little bit about the impending extraction.

"Looks like we're going back to the vet in a few weeks," I told her, as she sat Driving Miss Daisy-like in the back seat, while I drove the Pontiac Overland out of the parking lot.

From the rearview mirror I could see her blink both eyes, stick her pink tongue out at me and start to pant.

"Don't worry. I'm sure it won't hurt a bit," I said.

Michael Gennings is a reporter for The Stayner Sun. Feedback is welcome at mgennings@simcoe.com.